Excess Baggage

Whenever I go out, this is what I carry with me. Inside a 1'x2' plaid tote from Target, I carry the following items.
-That red wallet on the side of the picture.
-A full 600ml bottle of water
-2 kinds of bug repellent, one spray, one lotion.
-an umbrella
-my mobile
-an extra pair of flip flops
-a hairbrush with clips
-2 notebooks, one small, one large
-a map of Bangkok
-my MP3 player
-some toilet paper
- a paper back "Around the World in 80 dates"
-trial size deodorant
-trial size sunscreen, SPF 50, water and sweat proof
-my passport
-my house keys
-a tube of hydrocortizone cream
-Neutrogena lip balm
- a Thai phrasebook


Everyone I come into contact with says that the bags I carry are massive. They also ask, "Do you really need everything that's in there?" And I reply, "Of course I do!" What if it's sunny, I'll need more block, what if the mosquitos are out, I'll need protection. What if I'm bored? I'll need something to read. What if I need to write a poem? I'll need pen and paper, not just any pen and paper, my SPECIAL notebook! And this comes off as weird to some people. They try lifting my bag to prove their point. Of course they struggle, but I think it's just added dramatic effect.

"How can you carry all of this extra weight? That's got to be at least 15 pounds!"

I don't think about it. I might be throwing my spine out of alignment, but at least I'm prepared. Until one day when I came home from a long day out and about and eased my bag onto my bed. My shoulder was sore, my neck was strained, and I was exhausted. The unfortunate thing was that I'd gotten a massage that day. . . only to ruin it with creating all new tension throughout my upper body. What a waste of valuable baht.

So I made the decision, on Saturday, I would pack lighter. But first, I had to ask myself what I was so afraid of that I would bring half of my possessions with me. I'm still new to this city in many ways and I'm afraid I'll be caught in a predicament. But what would be so horrible that I could justify bringing an extra pair of shoes with me? My familiar possessions were helping me cope with new experience of hacking it alone in Bangkok. Only they weren't, they were actually hindering my experience, by keeping me bogged down; physically and mentally.

I started with a new bag. I would have enabled myself if I continued to carry my tote bag, believing I could carry only half of my stuff. In my mind, purses are like Trick or Treat pillowcases, they're meant to be filled to the brim. The bag I chose was a bag I was hustled into buying on the street by a young woman who gave me a discount "because I speak good Thai." I had planned to mail it home, but I gave it second thought. It was challengingly small. There's no way, even if I were in familiar Normal, Illinois, I would carry a bag that small.

Way to be ballsy!



In the new bag, I carried:
-A map of Bangkok
-a small notebook
-my passport
-my mobile
-an ink pen
-my credit card
-some baht
-my house keys
- my camera (of course, you can't see it at the moment.)

Keep in mind that some of these items like my money, keys, and mobile were in my pants pocket. This was just in case, someone snatched my tiny purse, making a quick getaway because the damn thing's so light. I'd at least be left with my money, a way to get back into my home, and a way to call Noah and sob about how the fates have cursed my purse choices. I would sacrifice my books, I never get to read them while traveling anyway. I sacrificed all of my toiletries and trusted where ever I was heading would have toilet paper, and an insignificant amount of mosquitoes. I had to trust that nothing would happen to the shoes I was wearing on my feet. If I got sweaty, I would have to trust that I wouldn't be the only person in the city of Bangkok that smelled a little funky. I had to trust that my life wasn't going to fall apart in a day's trip around the city.

Leaving the house was a hardship. I stopped at the doorway and thought about what I was doing. Was this smart? Was I being reckless? I felt a little too naked and little too light. As I finally pulled myself way from my room, walked down the stairs and out the front door, I told myself that this was it!

How did it go?

I sat in a McDonalds eating french fries when I had a startling realization. I'm not a backpacking tourist. I've got more permanence in Thailand than I think I do. It's okay to be on familiar terms with the city. I suddenly felt a tremendous sense of pride of my ability to keep myself alive on so few items! My items weren't going to get me to and from taxis and subways, it would be my instinct and my street smarts. I now trust that I'll be fine traveling lighter.