What's Love Got To Do With It?

I've given my heart to one man. I love him dearly and no one else.

But. . .

There could be another man that might give Noah a run for his money. I'm talking about the crepe vendor that waits for me right outside of the school. For ten baht, this man takes away my cares with a French dessert filled with chocolate. Thank you, imperialist France, for your influence in neighboring countries!

After a long hard day at the office, I walked home feeling a little glum. My students were beasts, my lesson plan was a farce, and my feet hurt. On the horizon, however, is my savior, a middle aged man who runs the crepes cart on the street. I've been eating a lot of street food since I've been here; taking chances on various meats that sit outside in the heat and amongst the flies, I thought I should get started on dessert too.

This was my third trip to the Crepe man. He's starting to know my order pretty well, one crepe, butter, chocolate filling, with a bit of what looks like Bavarian cream. His cart is right next to the guy to makes mango salad and I feel bad that I pass that man's cart without so much looking his way. Today was not a salad day. Hell, after the day I had, I could have eaten three crepes.

Amongst all the people on the street, the two sisters who own the restaurant across the street, the mango salad man, the taxi drivers, Crepe Man decides that this was a good time to profess his love for me. Yes, I have that affect on crepe dealers.

He made a gesture with his two index fingers coming together as one and pointed at me. I didn't understand at all. After a lot of smiling and gesturing, he finally told me in with great hesitance:

"I," he points to himself. "Love." He then points to me. "You!"

I laughed. Me? You love me?

"Chai krup, chai." Yes, yes. "I love you!"

Oh jeez, how to handle this delicately. There was a second, though, as I watched him drizzle chocolate on the pan, I wondered what the living arrangements would be like. As his girlfriend, would I be guaranteed free crepes on demand? Would he be available to kill my roaches on demand?

I thought about it for a SECOND, Noah!

I pointed to my wedding ring and said, "I have husband, I have fan." I think that's the Thai word for husband. Realization dawned on Crepe Man and everyone else within earshot. The street erupted in laughter. The motorbike taxi guys ragged on him, the sisters across the street scolded him, and I was mortified for him. I hoped this wouldn't ruin my crepe relationship with him. So I told him quickly,

"I love your crepes!" I patted my belly and went "mmmhh." He didn't understand, so I tried again. "Chorp crepes, aroi mak mak. . . mmmmhh."

He broke into a smile and nodded. With a thumbs up, things were back on track. The mango salad man was still chiding him by the time I left. As I took a bite into that crepe, I realized I probably would have told Crepe Man anything to get my hands another crepe. But I decided it's best to keep things business only.
Mmmmhh.